How To Be A Single Mum

Well hello there!

And welcome to howtobeasinglemum.com. It’s taken me an age to put something up here – not because I’m lazy (despite what The Ex might say) or I didn’t know what to write about (trust me, lack of material is not my problem) – it’s simply because I’m so completely and utterly rubbish with technology.

I’m not exaggerating – attaching a word document to an email is as good as it gets with me. And if I manage to do that, I celebrate with a cup of tea and one (packet) of those chocolate-coated sour cherry shortbread biscuits from the Co-op. Have you tried them yet? If not, I’d hurry and grab a box if I were you – stocks are depleting fast. I mean, talk about yumsters.

But back to the techy stuff. Honestly, it’s taken me three months just to figure out that I can take a picture of my phone, upload it to my computer and then, somehow, by way of some sort of crazy magic, click on some random, but weirdly correct buttons and that picture will appear at the top of this post. Imagine my surprise! Mind you, it’s all happened by accident, so God knows whether I’ll be able to do it again – but hey! Major achievement for the day done and dusted or what?!

But while you’re here, I just wanted to let you in on a few secrets about the above pic that my darling daughter, The Eleventeen Year Old (AKA the Narky Nine Year Old and the Ten Year Old Teenager) drew after we’d moved to the country on our own.

You may not know this, but the figure in the middle? The woman in a dress looking decidedly in control, complete with lovely long hair, a big smile and an impossibly slim waist? That’s my daughter. The person on her left is her baby bro, The Sunshiney Seven Year Old (AKA the Farty Five Year Old and the Smelly Six Year Old) and the person to her right at the top of the page is, yep, you guessed it, me.

I’m short, it’s true, but come on! Note the thinning, straightened-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life hair (depressingly accurate depiction) and the knee support. I wear that from time to time – not, as my daughter suspects, to garner sympathy, but because I’ve put on so much weight lately (mercifully not shown), my knees are painful and sometimes even give way.

Also, when The Ex and I were divorcing and I was desperately trying to lose weight (as per) and trying to take up running. I’d shuffle down the street for five minutes one week, 10 the next and so on, until one day I managed a full, non-stop 30 minutes’ shuffling. I was elated! I’d found the key! Not only to weight loss, but to mental fitness, too. Shame, then, that the next day I couldn’t stand up, let alone walk.

Anyway, my beautiful girl (actual size) drew this lovely picture when we’d been in the house for a couple of months and I’d been endlessly banging on about what a wonderful adventure we were having and how fantastic it was that we were in the country, just us three, well on our way from misery to happiness today etc etc etc – and we’d just had a mammoth argument. I can’t remember what it was about, now – probably something to do with mobile phones or Youtube – but she stropped off upstairs, locked herself in her room and came out an hour afterwards, brandishing this very picture.

Did I cry? Of course I did! And you would, too, if you’d been drawn wearing those daggy clothes.  And that hair! Talk about a comedy barnet. She’s always been on at me to chuck my GHDs out, and just recently, when I turned 50, I actually did.

Now my hair’s blissfully untamed. In need of a good highlights job and a cut into some sort of flattering shape, yes – but at least now I’m no longer a slave to the straightening irons and I’m even starting to like the curls around my face. Detract from the wrinkles, you see. Every cloud…

But enough! I just wanted to tell you a bit about us and how that picture came about. Now all I need to do is remember to buy a frame for it, lest it gets grease on it or chewed by the dog, hanging precariously off the fridge door as it is at the mo’.

Oh! And I’ll make this picture the profile pic on the Facebook page, the header image for this, my website and…now where did those sour cherry biscuits go? I’ll just nip out to the Co-op first and then get on with all that stuff. Not that I’m procrastinating or anything.

Bear with, bear with…

Lots of love,

Mink xxx

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